I feel as though I have no reason to live. I had no purpose in this world. Everyone around me was making me feel uncomfortable, and they were always putting me down. What did it matter if I had talents? What did it matter if I was smart? It'd make no difference. I'd still be the same person stuck in the same place in the same world. Of course, no one understands. They have no idea what it's like to be me. I was being overwhelmed by all these strange feelings. I've even had suicidal thoughts, and even some attempts. But it's not like anyone cares. I'm a nobody to them. At school and at home, nobody gives a care. I try my hardest to stay happy. I crack jokes, hang out with cheery people, but nothing works. It's like as if I were meant to be sad, depressed, alone. The one person that I really liked being with is now gone. He left without a trace. No memories of him are left with me. Yes, other people have pictures, messages, comments, etc. But I have nothing at all except for a number that may not even be in service anymore. So tonight, I shall go to bed at 7 again, cry for two straight hours because he's not here, because nobody cares about me, and because I have nothing to live for. Hours later, I'll be on my computer doing crap. What's the point really? I have no life, as my brother says, and there's nothing else to do here. I don't have much freedom. I'd say I have no freedom at all, but I know that's not true. I never hang out with friends since I only have one true friend, I never get to go to the movies, and I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend because my parents think I am stupid enough to have pre-marital sex. They don't believe me when I say that I am abstinent. Sure, a lot of people give it up, but I'm ot one of them. I truly believe that I should stay a virgin until the day I walk that aisle leading to the man of my dreams.But it doesn't matter what I say to them. They don't care. It's killing me inside, all the loneliness. The people I used to call friends were actually bad-mouthing me when I believe I've done nothing wrong but try to be good to them. I will write about them later, but not using their actual names. However, I wish I could just to tell them how wrong I beieve them to be, but I know for a fact ht they don't car what I say. They'll just go to extremes to prove me wrong. All those people just want to hurt me. Even my own family has hurt me before. They've talked about me in so many bad ways that are unimaginable. I couldn't believe my ears when I found out. But that's why thy do it behind my back. It's only bcause they don't want to confront themselves. I wish I could confront those family members, but again; I'm just a nobody. They wouldn't care; they'd just talk even more. This is the short part of my reason as to why I think I should just end it all with the leap off the balcony.